Reggio Emilia and Emotional Literacy: Naming Big Feelings with Little People
The term, ‘big feelings’, is relatively new, but one that most parents and caregivers of very young children are now familiar with. It’s a great description, generally used for when a child might have a surge of high emotion, such as crying, anger or even a tantrum.
Big feelings aren’t necessarily negative, although the terminology is generally directed this way. But intense delight, perhaps expressed through yelling, screams of joy or even tears of happiness, should also come under the same umbrella. Learning about such strong outbreaks and how to cope and navigate them plays a significant role in the Reggio Emilia Approach.
Childhood Emotions are an Invitation to See the World as They Do
As adults, it can be challenging to deal with, say, a child’s temper tantrum. But it’s important to know that such eruptions don’t come from a bad place. Instead, it’s an inbuilt human method of trying to make sense of the world. This can manifest in many different ways, including:
Excessive clinginess.
Crying.
Throwing things.
Stamping their feet.
Extreme shyness or anxiety.
Yelling.
And, of course, the aforementioned tantrum…
The childhood brain is creating neural links, or synapses, at an amazing speed. The first three years of life are when this is at its most intense. Learning emotional intelligence, AKA, making sense of feelings, takes time. The brain must create the necessary connections in response to external stimuli, and it’s these that allow a child to gradually label and learn how to deal with them. The ‘terrible twos’ is no coincidence, as this is around the prime time when neural link creation is at its peak. Challenging behaviours are common around this age as little ones struggle to make sense of what, to them, are conflicting desires and abilities.
Consider a child being told, “No, you can’t have that toy/sweet/biscuit/phone to play with,” etc. The yet-to-be-fully-formed brain tells them that they want the object, but they’re not allowed. They don’t yet have the reasoning skills to ask and understand why this is. So, the resulting challenging behaviour is born from frustration caused by a lack of comprehension.
As a caregiver, this is an invitation to try to see the world through their eyes. Rather than attempting to make them suppress the emotion, it’s far more effective to provide the guidance they need to help understand and deal with the feeling. OK, if your child is having a meltdown in the middle of Woolworths, this will challenge even the best-intentioned of parents. But it’s important to know that big feelings are an essential element of brain formation and childhood learning.
Enter the Reggio Emilia Approach…
One of the key elements of Reggio is ‘The Hundred Languages of Children’. This refers to the ability to communicate and includes words, movement, dance, drawing, singing, acting, body language, music and, of course, displays of emotion.
Another crucial aspect for parents, caregivers and early education professionals following the approach is to listen, validate and guide towards discovering potential solutions. It’s this two-way communication that creates a vital connection that, in turn, leads to trust. Once we understand that strong emotions are a child’s way of trying to make sense of a situation, we can see how much more advantageous it is to respond in a way that acknowledges this.
For example:
A child is building a block tower that falls down and they respond by throwing the blocks across the room: Rather than chastising them, we could respond with something like, “Wow, that was a big crash. Shall we see if we can find a way to redo it without it falling?”
A child erupts into a temper tantrum when they have to share a toy: This is a prime opportunity to validate their feelings. Rather than offering a solution, you might say, “Goodness, I can see this is really tough for you. Shall we look at what we can do when both you and (other child’s name) want to play with the monkey/train/dollhouse/etc at the same time?”
Your child doesn’t want to go into the party/early learning centre/friend’s house/ etc and becomes clingy and cries: Rather than telling them it will be OK, consider an approach along the lines of, “I can see how scary this is for you. Shall we talk about it, or would you like me to stay for a while until you settle in?”
These are just a few examples, but they all are about listening to the child, validating their feelings and heling guide them towards a solution. The Reggio Emilia Approach is all about the adult being the co-learner – and that can only be achieved through truly hearing what the child is saying, be it through words, actions or any other method of communication.
Remember that a child’s behaviour is their fallback when they don’t yet have the words to convey what they feel. The continual acknowledgment and validation of their emotions helps those vital neural connections form, which will then allow them to not only come to terms with what they’re feeling but also associate names with what they are.
Reggio caregivers can help. Saying things like, “I can see you’re angry/upset/frustrated/super happy/etc”, plays an incredible role in the basics of emotional intelligence – and these are words that should be part of everyday communication.
At Treasured Tots, our talented early educational team works tirelessly to help our little ones through these crucial years. As well as recognising big feelings, validating and guiding, the use of various tools to help teach emotional literacy are constantly in play. One example is the atelier, or art studio – a place for children to communicate through pictures, colour, dance and any other way they choose – and is a feature within all our locations, including Mandurah, Bibra Lake, Fremantle and the others.
Ready to find out more? Book a tour today to come see for yourself. We can’t wait for you to see us in action.